Tag: retired

Barely time to exhale

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I’m not much for long goodbyes but I’ve spoken to my patents twice in two days and apparently I’m now booked for 3 talks to 2 groups of older adults once we return and we haven’t quite gone yet. I don’t know what you do before going on holiday we clean. Apparently. There may be a future in ‘talks to community groups’. I’ve got one to do for the scuba club too.

The house is mid renovation. Needed the new plaster fixing. Spare bed made up for the cat wrangler/house sitter. Sourdough baked (you have to leave treats), floors swept, hoovering done (for US readers I mean vacuuming). Supplies purchased…firewood, Dr Pepper (I know, I don’t get it either), cat food. Frankly I’ve had less busy work weeks. What fresh food was left is going into tonight’s meal. Tomorrow is for online check in and train to the airport. Fuuuuck. This is actually happening. I suspect I’ll believe it once I get on the plane.

Where we are going there is unlikely to be any WiFi, or phone signal. Updates when I can.

Repeat

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I have a confession to make. I do consumer competitions. You know the ones splashed down your chocolate bar or on a nifty collar on your fave tipple…WIN….money, a holiday, car, plastic novelty item, tickets… Another confession. I have won several such prize draws and tests of skill. The point being they are designed to affect your spending choices and to attract your loyalty. I get a magazine with all such ‘contests’ available to me listed. I do t even have to buy the thing (unless that’s an entry requirement). There are also secret oiine cabals with free listings….they even publish the answers.

My point being that way back,I those heady days before the pandemic, I won a two night trip to a rather swanky place. Hoar Cross Hall (Not sponsored) As a marketing ploy it was successful as we go back annually global circumstances permitting. My absence is due to one such brief voyage. We spent 36 glorious hours mainly underground and submerged in water… except when being therapeutically pummelled or Michelin star fed. This is the first occasion I don’t recall seeing a TV or other celeb. There was however a wedding and I realised that I’d previously missed the chapel and a walk around the church which stands in the grounds.

My parents hate the very idea of the’spa’. That’s OK they weren’t invited. Buying time away from the everyday even for a moment, even a fairground ride or a film, is something everyone dies in their own way. A walk at the beach need cost nothing, also true for urban exploration. Take some time. Sit. Think. Play.

OP-1 not so teenage engineering

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So for a while I’ve had a little synth known as an OP-1. (If you know you know). I’ve not really for to grips with the thing but with the release of an updated version(for even more and trust me it ain’t cheap) I decided I’d best dust it off and play. The face that my better half is away for a few days and I can cheerfully make a racket has nothing to do with it….honest.

Again YouTube is a marvellous thing and alone to rewind and pause as often as you like. I managed after some fumbling to create what the young folks call a ‘beat’. The theory is simple all I need to do now I’d fine tune the way I understand the controls. It’s a fun little beast and you can rest assured I’m not planning an album any time soon.) Just knowing that I can finally use it.

I’m a secretive creature. Not like hiding things but I prefer to practice and try things without an audience. It’s an introvert thing. In my life I’ve found that strangers can teach me as I’ve nothing to lose. Where I’m invested with a person I’m less inclined to show weakness. Daft eh? Still now you know. If I have one piece of advice for others (hey I’m flawed get over it) it is do your thing fearlessly. I’m learning. That’s some of what this is is about.

Of Course

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Lockdown was a strange (and wonderful) experience. I know that we were quite content not to have to be around people we didn’t want to see. We were sad not to see friends though. After a while…you get bored. I started taking courses online. In particular Domestika. Art courses. 🎨

I’m not claiming this is a new career. It’s fun. At school I did Latin. Art was for wasters according to my parents…both of whom have had creative careers (mum wrote a newspaper column. Dad was a house painter and still makes art). I’ve always written and I’ve always drawn but not consistently. I take photos too. What I’ve learned is to relax. It’s for fun. Lots of my friend are doing this too. And I enjoy sharing (@ushiedraws on Instagram if you’re nosey)

It has made me look at things more closely. I use my phone less as a distraction. I’m not as bad as I thought might be, in fact I have a style. Faces are hard. Feet are not.

My right foot

Be thankful this is not a video of my ukelele playing.

Retired not bored

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I took early retirement because my dad didn’t. Its cost him a lot in terms of his health in the years since. He was the first to celebrate my decision. Other people however seem to have taken retirement to mean ‘has nothing to do all day so can be at my beck and call’. Prepare for a rant.

I love my wife. Last week we had a bit of a situation. I’d planned a day to zoom off to the art gallery and have lunch at my club, put in some work on my PhD, various household tasks, as you do. Then the text message landed ‘Can you just go and get me some vape liquid?’ This was Monday. We had been at home all weekend (there’s a story about a broken boiler and useless trades for another day) and the vape shop had been open the whole time. So I messaged to say I would go but now this had thrown off my plans. Follows a gushing apology and retraction. Now the difficult conversation that if you want people to treat you a certain way e.g. not disturb you when busy or undertaking difficult tasks (referring to a work incident for my wife the previous week) maybe model it.

I accept that you may now be judging me. Bear with. The wife in question has ADHD. (This is my only wife please don’t get excited). It has taken years to get into the system to get a sniff or a diagnosis and we are not there yet, though hopefully in the final stages. The incident was a piece of work with a deadline and a manager who kept sending through irritating little tasks that could wait. If you know ADHD at all you will understand that any distraction is the total destruction of concentration and takes some time to recover from. There are strategies in place. Noise cancelling headphones. Closed door to signal ‘Do Not Disturb’ and at home these work well but in a connected world every ping is a disturbance. Apparently shutting the notifications off for an hour or two is not an option. My phone has all notifications switched off and if you need me urgently you’d better ring me. Point being that a difficult conversation about boundaries and use of time ensued at work.

At home we have a calendar and a daily conversation about planned activities. It’s polite and helps things to run smoothly. I’m currently refusing to use any online schedules. Had enough of them at work and a paper diary is just so much cooler. (I use one from Paper Republic with refills. They are not paying me to mention them.) I’d said what my plans were, in particular I had a PhD deadline and needed to concentrate. Sadly my way of ensuring things get done is to do them while I’m thinking about them. I do have a ‘to do’ list in my carefully constructed (cough) Bullet Journal and I’m usually pretty good at remembering things but not that day. So I reorganised my day to do household in the morning, postpone the gallery as the exhibition is on for another week, and write in the afternoon. It was Ok I achieved the main tasks. Good stuff.

Fade to Friday afternoon. I’m sitting in my club. Waiting. I have a private tutoring arrangement with a young member there and he was late. Again. I waited 30 minutes and left. I have no idea what’s going on in his head. Last week his reason was he had the books to do for his business and cancelled last minute.. The week before no idea what happened but he was distracted throughout cutting the session short to go meet a paying client. I have a strategy I’m going to try for that one. It costs me time, energy and money to be there and he seems to have no respect for that. We have another appointment tomorrow. We shall see.

My point in all this? I’m retired from full time work. I chose to do that so I could better control my time and put my focus on the things I want to do. Things that give me joy. Even housework is not taxing when you can plan to do it at your own pace not rush through it on your day off. I’ve managed to get up, make the bed, make breakfast and write this even before starting my planned activities. Its not yet lunchtime… and so what if it was, I’m retired, not bored, not un busy. I’m off out now.

NOTE: The tradesperson fixed the boiler on day 6 without heating in approx. 15 minutes. He was from a different company.