Tag: giving

Prepper

Published on by FfiftyplusesLeave a comment

That is to say preparing the garden to receive the seeds for this year’s food crop. Hopefully it will be better than last year’s which was pretty much a washout. Today has been about putting some goodness back into the soil. I’ve also planted the first spud crop (assuming the frost doesn’t get them) it’s a beautiful day. The sun is high and I’m pleasantly tired.

Yesterday was a scuba day with the club giving up it’s time to support a local men’s emotional support group. The guys are always so lovely and so grateful to try something scary with people who are not going to judge them. They can be openly afraid and that is a huge thing for many men. Masculinity can be so very toxic. No stiff upper lip when you’re facing your fear.

There is a saying that you should do something that scares you every day. I’d say do something that challenges you instead. No point in being scared all the time. It’s challenging to pick cat poop out of the raised beds when I’ve spent years trying to chase them off from using those as a litter tray. It’s challenging to talk to a stranger who is about to put their life in your hands. It doesn’t always have to be jumping from an airplane scary!

Next week sees the transfer of seedlings to larger pots and the plants that can go outside being planted. It’s time to look forward again after a tough year. The cycle goes on.

Hospital Visiting

Published on by FfiftyplusesLeave a comment

When you get to a certain point in your life, hospital visiting becomes inevitable. Over the past weeks it certainly has for me. Thankfully it should shortly come to an end and life will shrink back to normal.

I say shrink because, although it’s been a tough couple if weeks and I really need a long sleep and/or a holiday,it has shown me a.lot of things I never thought I’d be capable of. Disturbed nights sleep. Stupidly long days (I’ve never had kids, so bear with me), missing planned events for the sake of someone you love and facing some harsh truths and difficult conversations. I’m certain that I’ve grown as a human being over the course of these past weeks.

I know I have the ability to share duty and responsibility with my close family… and that we can have reasonable conversations about it! I know that my support network is amazing and always there for me. Its different seeing them in  action than just having the idea it’s there. I know that you need to let people around you hear that you love them and to accept their love too. I know that you can’t look after anyone unless you look after yourself. I know how much I value time out/alone.

Mostly I know not to take my health for granted. As a wise person once said… there are no pockets in a shroud. Time to live a little.

Funny Old Month

Published on by FfiftyplusesLeave a comment

I know it’s been a while. I’ve been distracted by going to stay with my elderly dad. He’s not too steady on his feet but won’t sit still. Mum, on the other hand, is arthritic but won’t stay still (largely because it hurts) and it heavily involved in the WI (Women’s Institute) and the Trefoil Guild of the Girl Guides. Those organisations have conferences. These may involve a long, bust meeting but they also involve a chance to go away with your chums to a nice hotel and have a change of scenery. Mum has been to a couple of these lately. I’m called in to stay with Dad. It’s not a chore. When you consider everything my parents did for me it’s my turn to give back and I do it happily.

Our plan on this occasion was to make some black puddings as well as the usual gardening and running about in the car to fetch this and that. (Dad seldom drives these days and never beyond the village). I’d ordered dried blood, seasoning and groats. Pig fat would be acquired once I’d arrived. The groats were put in to soak overnight. Dad has it in has head that his mum made black puddings with more groats (barley) than blood. This was to be the basis for our attempt. Sadly, the skins we got hold of were not edible, but cleaned intestines do not keep well and can be pretty dangerous if not cleaned thoroughly. We could peel the skins away once the puddings were cooked. We treated back fly on the broad beans, did a run to the farm shop for bird seed and to the butchers for the aforementioned pig fat, picked blackcurrants, and watered the tomatoes. Enough for one day and there’s cricket on the telly.

Day two.

The resulting black pudding

Yep, we succeeded in making a black pudding without making too much mess in the kitchen. It was a little of the recipand a little by dad’s memories, so the resulting out was a little unusual but not bad. It weighed in at close to a kilo. We let it cool and had a slice for breakfast next day. Notes to self : more blood, less barley, and cook the barley first. I still have a stack of ingredients so I’ll experiment with them til we get this as he remembers. The whole thing basically came in kit form and it’s not as hard as you think its going to be. The great thing was to do something he really wanted to do and to try together. Cherish your parents, they will be gone before you know it.

Things you don’t need

Published on by FfiftyplusesLeave a comment

Or at least things I don’t need. In the process of redecorating the house (these things we do when retired) there’s always been that charity shop bag by the door. I had a notification this week to say that, with gift aid (a tax back scheme for charities in the UK), the things we’ve chucked in this bag and walked to one of the shops in town had raised over £170 for the charity. How’s that for one person’s trash?

I’ve also been up in the attic (loft) and brought down the small library that has lived up there for the last 15 years. We’ve had new bookshelves built-in to the living room. Obviously, space is limited, but with some books stored in the office space, there had to be a cull. I hate giving up on books, but here’s the question do I need them? Many have not seen daylight in years. Thankfully, I have lots of friends who are happy to take some off my hands, there are apps that let you sell books, and I’d all else fails that the charity shop bag will be filled.

Increasing our ‘one in one out’ policy is becoming a ‘meh I don’t need that’ policy. The house is slowly emptying. Slowly. Tne decorating, new garden, time spent here because pandemic/retirement/working-from-home means that paying more attention to these surroundings became inevitable. When was the last time you really stopped to appreciate all that you have and wonder what you can actually live without. If nothing else ebay might help you pay for your next holiday!

Value in Little Things

Published on by FfiftyplusesLeave a comment

We’ve been away but more of that later. One thing we often do is take a wander around a second-hand or junk shop. You can tell a lot about a nation by the things people resell. In Alice Springs, for example (yes, even on our great Australian adventure), we could’ve had anything from a teapot to a shirt to mining helmet. Brummen in Holland has a great 2nd hand warehouse. Gus’ back corner (achter hoek) . Seriously, you could furnish a house from there and clothe its inhabitants. There’s even paint, crockery, and electrical items. I’m not sure the cds and vinyl would be to everyone’s taste, but what can you do? Lol.

There were one or two glass cases with cast-off watches and small items of jewellery. In the back of one of these, I spotted several cameras. I love a camera. The box brownies and bellows based cameras now very difficult to get film for, but there was one little gem, an old 12 megapixel Samsung. Takes both photos and video. Look back on YouTube and someone the originals were using these things. Ten euro? Sold!

Vintage digital camera

Now, I had no idea if this was in working order, but, at that price, it was worth a punt. Reader, it works! 12 MP glory is mine. There was an SD card inside. I took a couple of test shots and flipped the display on to see the results…. guess what? In 1990, a family of Surinamese origin, somewhere in Holland, had taken pictures of their home and each other and, very sweetly, their pet rabbit. They are very ordinary photographs of an ordinary family doing ordinary things yet somehow trapped in time. I’m not going to publish their photos. I’m not sure yet if I should delete them since they have survived this long and they made me stop to think about the things we take for granted. One persons waste is someone else’s treasure. One person’s past is someone’s future.

How to be a great guest

Published on by FfiftyplusesLeave a comment

I’m sure a lot if you will have gone “Air b’n’b” at some point. Not sponsored. If not do try it it’s great fun. (Yes, I am aware of the arguments about it ruining the housing market for first time buyers).We prefer to have place to come back to where you can cook and have privacy unlike a youth hostel though we have used those too. (I should say many hostels now have smaller private rooms not all dorms). Being able to slob out in your pants (underwear for my US chums) and not worry about housekeeping or dorm mates is a plus but mostly being able to cook and eat at random times and for less than a meal out is where the joy is for us.

We’ve been to a few places all over the world. Usually we communicate in English but it’s polite to try whatever language even if it’s via Google translate and with apologies. That’s a good start to endearing yourself to the host. Now I’m sure people are aware that guests rank the host when they leave and getting a ‘superhost’ rank pretty much ensures that you’re booked up so most will try hard to please. Were you aware that hosts can and do rank guests too? You definitely want to get on the 5 star guest list as it helps you grab those difficult to book spaces. Our hosts tend to remember us for all the right reasons. Put it this way, it’s our wedding anniversary and a previous host has especially invited us back to celebrate!

Rule one. Read the reviews. There’s often detail in there that you might miss. For example a host may have pets and you may have allergies even if the pet is not allowed in the rental space. Do your research about the area as well. One time, in Paris, a perfectly lovey flat was marred by having to climb over drunks asleep in the doorway on the way in every night.

Rule two. Be polite. It costs nothing. Be up front if you gave particular needs or requests. Will you be arriving late at night or need to dropbags off early before the space is cleaned? We always check for gay friendliness.

Rule three. Remember this is someone’s home and their business. If the rule is shoes off at the door and everyone sits to pee (this is a real place and we loved it) then so be it. Their house their rules.

Rule four. Be considerate. If you’re sharing  space with the host then keep the noise down and keep hallways tidy for example.

Rule five. Clear up before you leave. Dry the dishes, put things away, strip the bed, take out the rubbish. If necessary throw away perishable food stuffs. Tne room may not be used for some time and your stinky sour milk will not be appreciated. On the other hand tinned or dried foods left for other guests can be an act of kindness (and lightens your luggage).

Rule six. Leave a thank you note. We do this as a matter of course. It means you can point out any minor issues (if there are any) without putting them in your review. One host had a guest point out an issue before we arrived one morning and greeted us to explain the he would give us his home for the night while the tiny tiny issue was fixed. What service. To be honest if there is an issue it’s best to contact the host straight away.

We always take a gift. Usually a couple of food items made very locally to our home if we are allowedtobring them across any border or another typical item from home. Sometimes we give this as we arrive. If we can we invite out host for a home cooked meal or drink but this is not always practical. *I would not do this if traveling alone for example.

We’ve stayed in a tiny crazy attic flat, a smelly basement (that was an early one), a converted garage, and a “tree house with a pool” (that one’s in Australia). Air b’nb have always been really helpful….like that time someone tried to rent their student room in halls as a ‘studio flat’ … look, it’s an adventure. Be respectful and kind, you’ll be treated well.

The ‘Charity’ Bag

Published on by FfiftyplusesLeave a comment

We have a plastic bag by the front door. It sits silently in the porch. Every time there is a thing either of us sees that neither of us wants or needs it goes in the bag (if it will fit). This, when full, gets walked (usually) to a charity shop (goodwill if you’re in the USA). Its a simple thing and its surprisingly easy to fill such a bag. There have been heaps (literally) of clothes and bric-a-brac that have gone forever from our home through this simple action.

Like most humans, trapped in our own space during the pandemic, I started to notice stuff. More realistically, stuffed. The living room, stuffed, the bedroom, stuffed and especially the garage, stuffed. Now I know a lotta people did the same because our local charity shops had a booking system for drop off!

As a student I lived in the charity shop. There was a place, in a basement, in Manchester that had stalls full of second hand clothing dropped in by hotels and cruise companies (old livery, heavily customised was very ‘in’ in the late punk/early New Romantic era). That place became Aflecks Palace, now a Mancunian legend. You could still get seriously good quality shirts with the button on collars still available, not that we wore those. Shirt tails hanging out over skinny, often stripy (fluorescent yellow and black) jeans…ah, those were the days. I usually teams this with a tail coat. I still own two tail coats though my jeans are less skinny!

For a long time I forgot the charity shop. A little cash in your pocket and you go for new. Sad really. I always donated though. A thing I liked to do when running youth groups was a clothes swap. The kids would bring items that were still wearable but that they were tired of. You brought six things you got six tickets. Each ticket was worth one item. Any unspent could be kept for the next swap but they were usually lost. Unused clothing went to the next attic sale stall we ran to raise funds for the club.

It was always a recycling thing but I never really thought about it that way. I’m an Environmental Science graduate so should have known better. I have some amazing shirts (I like a loud shirt) gleaned from the racks at Cancer Research or the British Heart Foundation. I am very lucky to have more than I need. Yes, there are times I’ll check if there’s a trade in to be had on a book or game. Yes, I know there are apps to sell if you need the money. We took a pile of board games to our local swap shop yesterday. They couldn’t use them so there was no money to be had. (I’m not a saint) but rather than bring them home we sauntered up to the next available charity shop and dropped them off. Someone out there gets a good quality board game and we have a little more space.

These days there’s always a bag or a box by the door. It gets full more often than I care to think about.