friends – ffiftypluses

Sweeping down to the sea

Published on September 13, 2025September 13, 2025 by FfiftyplusesLeave a comment

I’ve an old friend. We met through a play scheme we worked on in Antrim over 40 years ago. Erik got in touch a few weeks ago to say he was off back to Northern Ireland and did I fancy going walking with him.in the Morne Mountains. Yes I did, and off we went.

We met at Dublin airport and drove up to Kilkeen for a few days. Our base of operations was the Kilmorey Arms and this place was amazing. Comfortable and welcoming, staff could not do enough for us. The town itself is a little down at heel, a working fishing village with a reputation for excellent sea food. I have to say we are well at the hotel although the options around town were limited. The little Italian restaurant was good also. Family friendly and without an alcohol license if that’s a deal breaker. It wasn’t for us.

We asked our breakfast server for advice and were recommended Doan as a challenge but not too much. Good choice. We made either to the top (593m) in just under two hours and down a little quicker. The rain set in as the car park came into view.

Day two was horizontal rain from the get go. We decided that our walk today would be down memory lane. Erik and I met as a result of being idealistic young people back in the mid nineteen eighties. We were workers on a series of play schemes which crossed the political divide. People were used to slogans and shootings in Antrim and Belfast, Armagh and Portadown. Children grew up heavily indoctrinated. We wanted to be part of the solution. We went to play and to somehow help children from Republican and Unionist sides to meet. Thankfully the peace process was successful with the Good Friday Agreement. It is not 100% but it is good to know that driving a vehicle with a Dublin number plate is no longer a guarantee of an attack in the North. We saw what was going on back then in the ‘troubles’. One place more central to the peace than you know is a priory in a tiny speck of a place called Benburb. We went back through Newry and Armagh to visit.

Benburb Priory (Service Order) was founded in a former mansion and estate on the edge of the town. The members of the order, mostly priests but we know of a couple of nuns, made it their business to serve. Local people were involved in events onsite and slowly came to accept the presence of these outsiders. The priory today still serves the community with a cafe and small museum and library. The grounds are open for walking and quiet contemplation as well as festivals and celebrations. Many people wanted to speak with us. Some had personal connections.with Erik and his family.

A day of high emotion and comfortable silences on the return journey as we each thought about how this place has shaped our lives.

Day three was grey. We had a late breakfast with friends from the Benburb area. When they left to carry on family duties we took to the hills again. The aim for the day to make it to the Blue Lough. A well-defined and short footpath lead from the walkers car park and we looked up to the clouded hills.

We were wrapped in waterproof jackets and strong boots. Whilst there were some puddles to cross.on the way up it was not raining heavily but as we climbed the cloud came down and we had to turn around short of our goal. We were soaked to the skin. Back to the hotel for a warm shower and a cup of tea. Reading in the hotel lounge for a peaceful hour was the perfect end to the day.

Staff cheerfully greeted us at six forty five handed the packed lunch we had asked for in lieu of breakfast as we headed back to Dublin and our respective flights home. The simple cheese sandwich was an actual platter with salad and crisps and fruit and impossible to eat in the car! We passed through the border by simply driving along the A roads. There is no boundary as such. In some ways what we were working for has happened. The island is basically one again.

While we were away a man was publicly killed in the USA. We still do not know why at time of writing. It brings to mind the ‘Troubles’. It took a long time for a fragile peace to be established in Ireland. I fear for the USA. We talked about it on our drive both hoping that this doesn’t spark revenge after revenge. Violence is never the answer.

What a week. Lovely to see an old friend. Wonderful to see the glorious countryside. Amazing to remember the part we may have played and the people who did more that we ever could to bring peace. My American friends please take care. Remember that this will pass. Peace takes effort on all sides but mostly inside yourself.

Booker Off

Published on January 16, 2025 by FfiftyplusesLeave a comment

I do this to myself regularly. I buy and attempt to read another or more Booker nomination and/or winner. I should know by now that it’s not fun and it will not make me happy but I keep on trying.

This year’s winner is called Orbit. It’s an esoteric little number about the brew of the International Space Station. The guy at Waterstones gushed about it. There was a woman on the train clearly enraptured. To me it just seems a bit forced and pretentious. I mean, I do read the occasional pretentious book. I read hard books all the time. I’m going to be a PhD sometime soon, fingers crossed. My point is that it’s not engaging. Not to me anyway.

What is the qualification to be a book prize judge? I say this carefully as one of my close friends is a prize winning writer. I mean… I joined a book group once. Hated being forced to read other people’s preference. Oh, the arguments. I can’t say it was a peaceful or enlightened experience.

These days I’m not afraid to put down a book and walk away if it’s not for me. Sorry Booker judges.

Sorry for my absence

Published on October 20, 2024 by FfiftyplusesLeave a comment

Over the past few months my father has been unwell. Very unwell. I’ve been spending time hospital visiting g and caring for him alongside my mother and brother. He passed away a few weeks ago and I can now let you know.

I promise my next post will be normal service resumed. I have not forgotten the blog just taking care of business.

Motorway madness

Published on August 13, 2024 by FfiftyplusesLeave a comment

I’ve seen a lot of the M6 in the last few months. I’m still hospital visiting. Not only that but part if the family have now moved to Wales so that’s been the scene of one or two days lately too. Sunday was possibly the hottest day of the year and I found myself stuck in a traffic jam. A one hour journey took two hours. There was a air show. I didn’t know and wound up in the queue. Still I had my new best playlist to keep me company.

Does anyone else make playlists for specific purposes? For years I’ve curated lists for friends themed birthday parties (which reminds me there’s a baby shower soon I wonder if they need one?). I love making what are effectively musical mood boards. Give me an era or a topic or a state of mind I’ll match it to some tunes. I can go full classical to.pop and rock, folk to funk and everything in between. My love of obscure songs from niche genres takes me down many a rabbit hole. There’s a playlist on spotify called crate diggers which hales back to a time when we used to have actual physical objects to play our music from not this ethereal digital mess. We’ve lost so much. Yes, the crackle, hiss and annoying jump of scratched vinyl but also so many B sides and album tracks in a world where the greatest hits are on demand.

I still buy physical cds and vinyl where I can. I still own a cassette player too, not to mention the 78s (ask your gran). I’ve not yet found anything play a wax cylinder though but I’ve seen one in action. Which reminds me I need to add a Madness track to my motorway list… which is where I came in.

Hospital Visiting

Published on May 1, 2024 by FfiftyplusesLeave a comment

When you get to a certain point in your life, hospital visiting becomes inevitable. Over the past weeks it certainly has for me. Thankfully it should shortly come to an end and life will shrink back to normal.

I say shrink because, although it’s been a tough couple if weeks and I really need a long sleep and/or a holiday,it has shown me a.lot of things I never thought I’d be capable of. Disturbed nights sleep. Stupidly long days (I’ve never had kids, so bear with me), missing planned events for the sake of someone you love and facing some harsh truths and difficult conversations. I’m certain that I’ve grown as a human being over the course of these past weeks.

I know I have the ability to share duty and responsibility with my close family… and that we can have reasonable conversations about it! I know that my support network is amazing and always there for me. Its different seeing them in action than just having the idea it’s there. I know that you need to let people around you hear that you love them and to accept their love too. I know that you can’t look after anyone unless you look after yourself. I know how much I value time out/alone.

Mostly I know not to take my health for granted. As a wise person once said… there are no pockets in a shroud. Time to live a little.

Easter Gift

Published on April 1, 2024 by FfiftyplusesLeave a comment

I’m incredibly lucky to have found scuba diving. I love it and it brings me so much joy to be able to share it with others. If you’d have told me this would become my main hobby I would’ve said you were mad. I’m terrified of drowning! What scuba allows is a level of calculated risk. The trick is to do the calculations and then stick by those calculations on your dive…. but I digress…

I’m a member of a BSAC club. Number 2405, Midlancs SAC. I’ve been an instructor for about 5 years now and it is always a pleasure to see a new diver’s face when they emerge from their first try dive. This weekend my club along with a partner club Just4FunDiving took our Easter Saturday to take a bunch of lovely blokes in for a try dive (and they got some resuscitation training too). The guys from Andy’s Man Club are all on their own journey and each came with their own story but those are not mine to share. Suffice to say that for some of them the idea of diving was both exciting and terrifying in equal measure. The pure joy on the faces of these guys when they realised what they had achieved was something I will remember for a long time. I spent an hour and a half underwater, 45 minutes each with two new divers. One of them was so excited he was even chatting under the water which is difficult with a regulator in your mouth, but he managed it! They all have a certificate for their day and a real sense of achievement. These were all guys who have realised that its not so macho to keep quiet and they’ve learned to work on their issues. We need more places like Andy’s Man Club, more “men’s sheds” just as much as we need more safe spaces for women. Tremendous day.

All the ‘staff’ on the day were volunteers from kit movers to instructors to bakers (there is always cake). Thank you to Northern Diver for the sponsorship and to Wigan Council for the use of the pool.

The Greatest British city

Published on March 9, 2024March 13, 2024 by FfiftyplusesLeave a comment

Happily watching Susan Calman as she tours Liverpool. The joy of this is that I know and love this city well. People if ypu can get the UK channel 5 please check this out.

The Liver Buildings, Charles Dickens, Williamson’s Tunnels, the Atheneum, St George’s Hall. It’s an amazing city about more than the Beatles, more than tne football teams.

If you’ve never been, please visit. Walk the streets, see the sights but above all talk to the people. You won’t regret it.

Golden Guides

Published on February 12, 2024 by FfiftyplusesLeave a comment

I went to a party on Friday night for the 50th anniversary of a guide group starting. Someone described me as tne OG (original guide) since my mum started the whole thing 50 years ago.

Many of those who were guides or leaders came back to meet and greet and celebrate. There were photos and scrapbooks and camp blankets… all the good stuff. The new guides did a show for us with dancing and sketches too.

And there was cake…..really good fruit cake.

Its been a while…

Published on November 30, 2023November 30, 2023 by FfiftyplusesLeave a comment

Family stuff, as they say. One such was a wonderful visit to my second home in the Netherlands. Utrecht is one of my favourite cities in the world. Thus year I had the chance to take my young nieces to visit and explore the city.

Of course they had never tries Dutch food so day one, meal one gad to be traditional ‘borrelhapjes’. To be honest, the wee one can be a touch fussy, so bar snacks offered the widest opportunity for something to be OK. Butterbollen. Kaarstengels. Loaded fries. Loempias. And the best baked apples ever. We ate, we collapsed.

For anyone planning a visit, I’d recommend the Strowis. It’s a workers collective run hostel. Clean. Quiet . It even has a garden…but no sharks.

https://www.strowis.nl/

We stayed in a shared bathroom twin in the attic. Showers are large and clean and there are plenty of loos on each floor. There’s a kitchen too for making your own food though sadly breakfast is no longer available (covid). There’s a bar and coffee available. Games, art materials and they own the pub axcross the garden too. We chatted to Aussies, Koreans and Americans. That’s the joy of hostels you never know who you’ll meet. The staff are great and proved very helpful on this occasion.

Day two with the small people and a visit to the Museum Speelklok which is a personal favourite. Noisy and full of grandparents and grandchildren. We were in there for hours watching and listening to the huge circus organs and making our own musical books to play. Of course there was coffee and apple pie

After dad had gone off to the dance music festival in Amsterdam we carried on to the library. I love this building. It was once the Post Office. I’ve been trying to get inside again for ten years, and now it is gloriously open. Go to the library.

It’s like something out of Dune. I just feel like lying on the floor snd staring at the ceiling. Now there’s a lift so you can get above it to see the preservation work they’ve done. Seriously, go to the library. They also have a play post office which took a chunk of time and an excellent cafe.

Day three saw very tired youngsters peek up at the sight of a playground and a petting zoo in Grift Park. Word of caution here. If you’re an Uber fan don’t expect to find them much outside of Amsterdam because the Dutch use cycles so much so why get a cab?

Day four. Amsterdam. A stroll from Centraal Station to Rokin for a trip on my favourite boat (Reiderij Kooi). By now, the young ones were flagging as evidenced by the question (from the 4 year old) “When are you going to stop showing us things?” To be fair we’d made each of them an age appropriate scrap book to use whilst we were there and these had been used enthusiastically throughout the trip. Daddy was spotted on the bridge awaiting our return. Lunch and off to the airport for us. Naturally, it is more bitterbollen at the Hoppe.

Twi weeks later and our chums from the Netherlands arrived on the doorstep.

Telling Tales

Published on September 6, 2023 by FfiftyplusesLeave a comment

Last night was.the first official run out for ‘the talk about my Australian adventures last year. A group of former Guide leaders assembled for the first time since July and excited to see each other as well as to hear the talk and, of course, have tea and a chat.

It’s a little unnerving when your mum is on the front row. This was only half the tale though. Tne story if the train across the desert but not of my time in the outback. I am reliably informed that someone was overhead saying they could listen to it all again. Certainly, feedback was in the form of questions and talwles of family members’ involvement in the building of Australia. Its lovely that people opened up to share their own stories with me, and I was honoured.

I should point out that this was the hottest day of the year to day at 29 degrees centigrade and that we had to close the door part way through because of brass band practice in the next building! The tea was amazing, and I’m pleased to say that all equipment worked as it should. (The touring show being a little different from a ready-made classroom setup)

I’ve a couple of weeks before the next one.