Tag: comunication

Sweeping down to the sea

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I’ve an old friend. We met through a play scheme we worked on in Antrim over 40 years ago. Erik got in touch a few weeks ago to say he was off back to Northern Ireland and did I fancy going walking with him.in the Morne Mountains. Yes I did, and off we went.

The Kilmorey Arms Hotel

We met at Dublin airport and drove up to Kilkeen for a few days. Our base of operations was the Kilmorey Arms and this place was amazing. Comfortable and welcoming, staff could not do enough for us. The town itself is a little down at heel, a working fishing village with a reputation for excellent sea food. I have to say we are well at the hotel although the options around town were limited. The little Italian restaurant was good also. Family friendly and without an alcohol license if that’s a deal breaker. It wasn’t for us.

Doan in the Mournes

We asked our breakfast server for advice and were recommended Doan as a challenge but not too much. Good choice. We made either to the top (593m) in just under two hours and down a little quicker. The rain set in as the car park came into view.

Soggy

Day two was horizontal rain from the get go. We decided that our walk today would be down memory lane. Erik and I met as a result of being idealistic young people back in the mid nineteen eighties. We were workers on a series of play schemes which crossed the political divide. People were used to slogans and shootings in Antrim and Belfast, Armagh and Portadown. Children grew up heavily indoctrinated. We wanted to be part of the solution. We went to play and to somehow help children from Republican and Unionist sides to meet. Thankfully the peace process was successful with the Good Friday Agreement. It is not 100% but it is good to know that driving a vehicle with a Dublin number plate is no longer a guarantee of an attack in the North. We saw what was going on back then in the ‘troubles’.  One place more central to the peace than you know is a priory in a tiny speck of a place called Benburb. We went back through Newry and Armagh to visit.

Benburb Priory (Service Order) was founded in a former mansion and estate on the edge of the town. The members of the order, mostly priests but we know of a couple of nuns, made it their business to serve. Local people were involved in events onsite and slowly came to accept the presence of these outsiders. The priory today still serves the community with a cafe and small museum and library. The grounds are open for walking and quiet contemplation as well as festivals and celebrations. Many people wanted to speak with us. Some had personal connections.with Erik and his family.

At Benburb Priory

A day of high emotion and comfortable silences on the return journey as we each thought about how this place has shaped our lives.

Day three was grey. We had a late breakfast with friends from the Benburb area. When they left to carry on family duties we took to the hills again. The aim for the day to make it to the Blue Lough. A well-defined and short footpath lead from the walkers car park and we looked up to the clouded hills.

Path to Blue Lough

We were wrapped in waterproof jackets and strong boots. Whilst there were some puddles to cross.on the way up it was not raining heavily but as we climbed the cloud came down and we had to turn around short of our goal. We were soaked to the skin. Back to the hotel for a warm shower and a cup of tea. Reading in the hotel lounge for a peaceful hour was the perfect end to the day.

Staff cheerfully greeted us at six forty five handed the packed lunch we had asked for in lieu of breakfast as we headed back to Dublin and our respective flights home. The simple cheese sandwich was an actual platter with salad and crisps and fruit and impossible to eat in the car! We passed through the border by simply driving along the A roads. There is no boundary as such. In some ways what we were working for has happened. The island is basically one again.

While we were away a man was publicly killed in the USA. We still do not know why at time of writing. It brings to mind the ‘Troubles’. It took a long time for a fragile peace to be established in Ireland. I fear for the USA. We talked about it on our drive both hoping that this doesn’t spark revenge after revenge. Violence is never the answer.

What a week. Lovely to see an old friend. Wonderful to see the glorious countryside. Amazing to remember the part we may have played and the people who did more that we ever could to bring peace. My American friends please take care. Remember that this will pass. Peace takes effort on all sides but mostly inside yourself.

Booker Off

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I do this to myself regularly. I buy and attempt to read another or more Booker nomination and/or winner. I should know by now that it’s not fun and it will not make me happy but I keep on trying.

This year’s winner is called Orbit. It’s an esoteric little number about the brew of the International Space Station. The guy at Waterstones gushed about it. There was a woman on the train clearly enraptured. To me it just seems a bit forced and pretentious. I  mean, I do read the occasional pretentious book. I read hard books all the time. I’m going to be a PhD sometime soon, fingers crossed. My point is that it’s not engaging. Not to me anyway.

What is the qualification to be a book prize judge? I say this carefully as one of my close friends is a prize winning writer. I mean… I joined a book group once. Hated being forced to read other people’s preference. Oh, the arguments. I can’t say it was a peaceful or enlightened experience.

These days I’m not afraid to put down a book and walk away if it’s not for me. Sorry Booker judges.

Sorry for my absence

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Over the past few months my father has been unwell. Very unwell. I’ve been spending time hospital visiting g and caring for him alongside my mother and brother. He passed away a few weeks ago and I can now let you know.

I promise my next post will be normal service resumed. I have not forgotten the blog just taking care of business.

Hospital Visiting

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When you get to a certain point in your life, hospital visiting becomes inevitable. Over the past weeks it certainly has for me. Thankfully it should shortly come to an end and life will shrink back to normal.

I say shrink because, although it’s been a tough couple if weeks and I really need a long sleep and/or a holiday,it has shown me a.lot of things I never thought I’d be capable of. Disturbed nights sleep. Stupidly long days (I’ve never had kids, so bear with me), missing planned events for the sake of someone you love and facing some harsh truths and difficult conversations. I’m certain that I’ve grown as a human being over the course of these past weeks.

I know I have the ability to share duty and responsibility with my close family… and that we can have reasonable conversations about it! I know that my support network is amazing and always there for me. Its different seeing them in  action than just having the idea it’s there. I know that you need to let people around you hear that you love them and to accept their love too. I know that you can’t look after anyone unless you look after yourself. I know how much I value time out/alone.

Mostly I know not to take my health for granted. As a wise person once said… there are no pockets in a shroud. Time to live a little.

Easter Gift

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I’m incredibly lucky to have found scuba diving. I love it and it brings me so much joy to be able to share it with others. If you’d have told me this would become my main hobby I would’ve said you were mad. I’m terrified of drowning! What scuba allows is a level of calculated risk. The trick is to do the calculations and then stick by those calculations on your dive…. but I digress…

I’m a member of a BSAC club. Number 2405, Midlancs SAC. I’ve been an instructor for about 5 years now and it is always a pleasure to see a new diver’s face when they emerge from their first try dive. This weekend my club along with a partner club Just4FunDiving took our Easter Saturday to take a bunch of lovely blokes in for a try dive (and they got some resuscitation training too). The guys from Andy’s Man Club are all on their own journey and each came with their own story but those are not mine to share. Suffice to say that for some of them the idea of diving was both exciting and terrifying in equal measure. The pure joy on the faces of these guys when they realised what they had achieved was something I will remember for a long time. I spent an hour and a half underwater, 45 minutes each with two new divers. One of them was so excited he was even chatting under the water which is difficult with a regulator in your mouth, but he managed it! They all have a certificate for their day and a real sense of achievement. These were all guys who have realised that its not so macho to keep quiet and they’ve learned to work on their issues. We need more places like Andy’s Man Club, more “men’s sheds” just as much as we need more safe spaces for women. Tremendous day.

All the ‘staff’ on the day were volunteers from kit movers to instructors to bakers (there is always cake). Thank you to Northern Diver for the sponsorship and to Wigan Council for the use of the pool.

Telling Tales

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Last night was.the first official run out for ‘the talk about my Australian adventures last year. A group of former Guide leaders assembled for the first time since July and excited to see each other as well as to hear the talk and, of course, have tea and a chat.

It’s a little unnerving when your mum is on the front row. This was only half the tale though. Tne story if the train across the desert but not of my time in the outback. I am reliably informed that someone was overhead saying they could listen to it all again. Certainly, feedback was in the form of questions and talwles of family members’ involvement in the building of Australia. Its lovely that people opened up to share their own stories with me, and I was honoured.

I should point out that this was the hottest day of the year to day at 29 degrees centigrade and that we had to close the door part way through because of brass band practice in the next building! The tea was amazing, and I’m pleased to say that all equipment worked as it should. (The touring show being a little different from a ready-made classroom setup)

I’ve a couple of weeks before the next one.

SCUBA Dooba Don’t

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That’s me on the Great Barrier Reef

I spent Monday evening teaching SCUBA theory to three blokes who seemed fixated on how many ways SCUBA can kill you. Obviously you can die SCUBA diving but the whole point of teaching safety and calculations etc is to prevent that happening. Almost the entire evening boiled down to …’there are old divers and there are bold divers but there are no old, bold divers’. Translated: do as you’re told, take safety seriously and you’ll have a better chance of survival.

Look, I know that calculating a risk is not sexy. I’m at a point in my life where I don’t care what you think. I prefer to come up from dive a little tired and grinning at the wonderful things I’ve seen or learned along the way. What set them off was a true story of the day there was an unsuccessful rescue of a diver at a site I was visiting. I don’t particularly know the details of what happened only that I was amongst those who helped in the rescue and aftermath. I’m sure it haunts the people directly involved to this day.

Tuesday I took a couple of those same blokes into the swimming pool (the have not progressed into open water yet) to practice rescue techniques. Let’s say they will get some more practice before we let them out into the real world. It’s hard trying to relate the safety of the pool environment to the great outdoors and a surprising number of big husky guys and gals revert to holding the instructors hand like a child when they get into a diving centre’s water for the first time. Eventually though they learn to float effortlessly with the flow and it becomes an almost meditative experience. I’m lucky. I’ve been a BSAC dive Instructor for about 5 years at time of writing, and diving for about 8 years or so. I get to practice all the skills very regularly because I’m teaching them. Complete mask removal and replacement in 4 degree (centigrade) water if not fun but it proves that you could do it if you needed to, it is not that cold at the moment and was a balmy 11 degrees C in the deep end of the quarry last week.

A word about quarries. The one where I dive is not a working quarry. It has been converted into a dive centre. There is a phone and rescue equipment, certified rescuers… that sort of thing. To anyone out there thinking of a refreshing dunk in your local water source please don’t do it unless properly trained and equipped. I spend a chunk of time every summer explaining to parents and teens that the water may look lovely but it is both deep (your toddler will get into difficulty in 6 to 20 metres of water) and cold (look there’s a reason I’m wearing this diving suit and rubber hood). Even the open water swimmers are wearing full length wetsuits and carrying floats. At the moment most of the UK is staying indoors (it is summer) as its heaving down with rain but once that sun shines you know that some teenage boy is going to die by being too bold in very cold water. For reference it’s the shock to your system of a huge temperature change. (I have swum, supervised in a dock in the North of England wearing nothing but a swim suit in November, a long time ago. It was for a lifesavers exam. I really can’t recommend it).

Bye-bye Bullet Journal

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Yeah. I took this up to support my wife, who has ADHD. It works for my wife. I have tried. For a year or more. It is not working for me. Here is the thing. I forget to use it. Then I get frustrated cos I missed a day or a week. I tend not to carry it cos it’s a bit big, but a smaller one would be too small. So I’ve made a decision that scheduling is going digital ( I’m gonna use my phone again) since I pretty much always have my phone with me.

I have several beautiful notebooks. More precisely, I have some beautiful leather notebook covers that I use to contain my notebooks. I have a new pocket size one that I can carry around, and I do. I also have the big one I’ve been trying to bullet journal in. That I’m gonna keep and just use it as a regular notebook or, as my American chums might say, journal. That works better for me. The whole BuJo thing is great for people with ADHD brain. Can’t knock it, but for me, it does not work.

If you are interested in trying it, I’ll link to Ryder the guy who invented the BuJo (as the aficionados call it) so you can take a look. To each their own eh? I’ve noticed that “lifestyle” and “self improvement” bloggers and vloggers tend to get very “YOU NEED TO DO THIS” shouty about things that work for them and anyone who tries to convert me or sell something will very quickly know that it does not work. I have to find it useful or beautiful. Note to any salesperson. Don’t try to sell things. If I want help/information/advice I’ll ask. Try selling me something, I’ll leave. If that makes me seem nasty or anti social sorry folks. I never really got past my teens and if you try to make me do something you can bet its not gonna happen.

Morning Routine

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I’ve read a lot of motivation porn in my time, and I’ve concluded that, whilst fascinating, it’s mostly about young white guys making money. Not all young or white but 99% about money. OK, the retired person says, “Nah”. Yes, it’s lovely to have more than enough. However, my observation is that no one ever quite knows what “enough” is. I have a better question. What makes you happy?

I’m going to tell you about my morning routine since that’s a common productivity theme. I’m usually wakened by my cat. He lives a morning cuddles, and he’s released around 8 am by my other half, who then brings me tea in bed…. well in a mug. I might have 2 or 3 mugs full, which can make for a lot of washing up, but folks, that’s what a dishwasher is for… that and saving argument about who’s turn it is as the dishes pile up. Generally, whilst I’m taking on my morning caffeine, I’m streaming YouTube videos to the bedroom telly.

My video choices tend to be US politics. I’m fascinated by that car crash as with the current UK situation. There’s usually a music video or three. I watch stuff on how to do various creative things like drawing or music (like how to use my OP1, which I’m not good at), an occasional healthy recipe sneaks in there. So that’s about an hour or sometimes two. I keep out of the way whilst my wife sets up the office and heads to work that way, I’m not upsetting that routine. Working from home became a yhi g during the pandemic and has stayed. We really enjoy this as we can get lunch or do jobs around the house more easily.

I’m up and showered by 10 or before. Blanket on the bed for cat sleeping and allergy avoidance. I make breakfast. I like porridge. Chia seed and pistachio with some cardamom. Nice, my brother calls it pretentious. He’s an undertaker. (That’s a funeral director for my American chums)

Now, there’s nowt, as we say here, about motivation in any of that. I will say that at the weekend, when I get up at 8 am to go scuba diving, I’m not a happy bunny. I do love to dive, though, and it makes me very happy. Yes, even in the 4 degrees centigrade waters of a UK quarry.

So there you have it. A complete absence of exercise, supercool, meditation, or reading. There’s nothing about “monetizing” or productivity. Imagine a person just doing what feels good! Magic.

Back to the Real World

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If you were hoping for more tales of adventure I’m sorry to disappoint. Today is a work day for the PhD student in me and a difficult review meeting. Its been an interesting year… what with the ongoing pandemic and a big trip to Oz. I’ve been plugging away at the research stuff. It’s not glamorous. A lot of transferring notes and filling in forms. I’m at that difficult stage (like its not all difficult) where I actually have to put in some writing time. The forms are all but filled and need to go to a higher authority for approval. A chapter must be produced.

I admit I’m a great procrastinator. There’s always another place to look for inspiration. Another theory to check out….. I could go on but that’s just more procrastination.

My question is which chapter to begin first. The ever exciting ‘Literature Review’ or the even more scintillating ‘Methodology’.

I want to apologise now to my supervisors for not realising I could just get on with this before the ever popular ethics form was completed….. Doh.